How Far Can Forever Be

Now I finally understand that forever is actually easy to expect, for it comes when we are loving and being loved.

Forever is not as far as we cannot see, but it is as near as we can experience in every minute.

Forever is right now.

ONE

I used to like riding my bicycle alone, hanging around the boundary of my small town.

It was a little pretty town away from hustle and bustle, whose outlying fields were covered with a huge mass of golden rape flowers that would dazzle you at first sight during the sunny season.

The air was so nice and fresh that my nose wing could not help itself broadening to take a deep breath, which brought along the gentle and delicate fragrance of the rape flowers, mixed with the bitter smell of greenness from the soil. It smelt true and natural. The effulgence of the sunshine would blow on my face when I was galloping with my bike on the flat concrete road, that would make me feel like to close my eyes lightly, and to slowly spread out my arms, flying just like the heroine in City Of Angels. I was inebriated with the enjoyment of freedom.

It was Gi Gi’s Sook that I was always crooning; and there must be a little happiness when a peaceful and satisfied smile appearing on my face. I would keep the innocent joy in the beaming eyes and on the leisured eyebrows, and keep it forever, since I was young and carefree.

TWO

This was a just zoned high-technological development area. The small town presented an entirely new appearance after few years: the serried high-technological industries, immigratory campuses of universities, new transplants, and quick leap of vehicles had made the small town busy and dusty.

Since then there was no more cycling alone or wandering around, even I became busy. I was busy with the national entrance examination, my English and going abroad.

I still remember the spare time when I was waiting for my visa. I had a boyfriend who once accompanied me to take a walk after the self-study lessons at night.

Holding hands, we were passing by the clearing that used to be the farms full of fragrant rape flowers. We were surprised and sighed pleasantly at how much we had been changed to each other, and we went aftertaste of sweet memories together. Riding bicycle, he was carrying me on the backseat roaming around the boundary of my small town. Even though everything had been changed, I was happy as if yesterday once more – I had my little simple joy again.

I would not believe in forever, since I just wanted to hold love once intensely and tightly. I had never given promises, but deep inside my lonely heart, I was dreaming secretly about a promise last forever. That is me – an inconsistent Gemini, who would never find the way to forever.

THREE

The song Eternal Flame was repeating over and over again through the sleepless nights.

Close your eyes,
Give me your hand, darling,
Do you feel my heart beating?
Do you understand?
Do you feel the same?
Or am I only dreaming?
Is this burning an eternal flame?
…

The melody was so elegant and heavenly, and the rhythm was so mild and tender. Every note that flowed in my ears felt like a splash when running rivulets dashing against cobblestones, which could wash down my heavy soul and make me feel refreshed and free from worry.

Suddenly the words of forever that he once told me arose, flashing through my mind.

Then whimsically I was wondering when that day of forever would come.

How far on earth can forever be?

At Melbourne Central train station, Mum’s Voice through the phone line gave me a sense of peace and warmth, “My girl, there’s no need to worry about troubles of your own imagining, just enjoy your every day. C’est la vie.”

“And there’s one thing to remember: Mum and Dad will love you forever,” she added.

I almost burst into tears when hearing that word “forever”.

“I’ll love you forever too, Mum,” I said.

At that moment, I realized that it can be so natural and easy to speak out the word “forever”, that forever is when we are loving and being loved, that every day or every minute can be imperishable, that forever is born to be pure and simple, and that forever can be as near as right now.

Then I started to run back through my memories like scenes in a movie flashing past my eyes: in the beauteous summer time when the sweet flavor of watermelon still remained in the air, we used to be laughing, hand in hand, sailing through avenues and alleyways; and we used to be holding each other, riding the bicycle, and crossing muddy fields; and we used to be leaning on each other, sitting on the bus, and enjoying the night scene in the city.

I miss my small town, and the times of cycling around alone; and I miss Mum and Dad; and I miss him. In fact, love has never left. Forever is not far away. It is now.